The Female Demerit System


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KumarM   
Member since: Jan 09
Posts: 881
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 07-09-10 15:39:42

A co-worker of mine (lady) sent this. Enjoy!
____________________________________________________

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)



AshwaniG   
Member since: Jul 04
Posts: 1484
Location: Convinient

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 07-09-10 16:26:08

Suits better in "Life" section than "Have Fun"
:clap:


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Growing Old Is Mandatory ..Growing UP is Optional


Kalpna   
Member since: Feb 06
Posts: 66
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 08-09-10 08:47:51


Duplicate.


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Saloni


Kalpna   
Member since: Feb 06
Posts: 66
Location:

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 08-09-10 08:47:52

Quote:
Originally posted by KumarM

A co-worker of mine (lady) sent this. Enjoy!
____________________________________________________

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)



______________
HER BIRTHDAY
What about
You forget her Birthday (-100);)
You forget Birthday gift (-200):p
You Forget everything (:clap: )


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Saloni


manserwadekar   
Member since: Jan 09
Posts: 407
Location: All over place

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 08-09-10 09:22:45

You prepare dinner for her (+5)
...Dinner is fat free...............(-10) (she will think that you assumed she is fat.)
.....Dinner is full of fat ..........(-5) (she will think you are trying to make her fat).
You set the table with candlelight, roses and champagne (+5)
....but you are sitting in speedo (-50)
You picked up (indian) chinese food with Fortune cookie containing message "TTonight your loved one will have night shift" (+20)
message continues "...in bed" (-50)
message continues "...with your best friend..."(-10000000000)



manserwadekar   
Member since: Jan 09
Posts: 407
Location: All over place

Post ID: #PID Posted on: 08-09-10 10:05:43

You sleep in your full and clean PJ (+1)
...sleep in just shorts (-5)
She puts her arms and legs on you (0)
....You try to adjust yourself from being getting choked (-5)
you try to put your arm over (-20)
You try to sleep when she is reading (0)
You watch TV while she is sleeping (-20)
Snoring lightly (-50)
But you put cotton balls to mitigate snoring sound (+2)
....in her nostrils and in your ears................................(-100)





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