Posted on: 28-09-04 23:30:22
Sure Soberflier, I too wish there was more kindness in this world, it would be a much better place. While the cost of living and the prices of real estate are going up - up -up, the value of human life and values in general are on the downslide. However, Wiser Now and Smart Guy are right in that if ones good nature is going to be misread and taken advantage of, one is better off staying neutral rather than sticking ones neck out.
I've heard that in Canada, as in most places in the world now, everything has a price tag, and people are suspicious of people doing someone a favour for nothing - it just doesn't make sense.
Somehow, the song we learned as children "When I needed a neighbour were you there?" and the bible story "Well done good and faithful servant, now enter the home of your Father," seem to have made an impact on some of us who dare to be different. However, the saying "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is equally true, so its a Catch 22 situation.
Margo
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The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up - - Paul Valery
Hi Soberflier,
I think insensitivity is directly related to the size of the city/town, i.e. the bigger the city, the more insensitive the people are!!
I myself am from a place called Durgapur (in W. Bengal), where people are more sensitive, for e.g. they respond more readily, be it a road accident, or a death in the locality, or someone in need of emergency hospitalization, etc. When I relocated to Calcutta for higher studies/job, I could make out the stark difference in terms of indifferent attitude and insensitivity, and more of it, when I relocated to Delhi, and subsequently, Mumbai.
I think a small place gives a feeling of unity and brotherhood, whereas people in a big city are more into the daily grind and rat race and don't have the time or inclination to care for people in need.
Regds
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Hi Margo !!
This is what i was talking about !! Practical advice !! Looking the other way is "wiser" is it ? What if it was you who was lost - would you sue someone helping you ? "Baatein badi sari hoti, logic ?"
Hi Wisernow......
The examples which you gave - those are indian, right ? Well cos if you were trying to say that those are things which happen in Canada and not in India i am sorry i couldnt disagree more
For one lets talk about Calcutta( the place of real heritage in India- Rabindra Nath, Vidysagar, Bankim Chandra, Sangeet and treasure trove of culture and "BHADRALOK" its where i was last stationed in law enforcement, those who are familiar with it will vouch that practically every month theres a cab driver getting killed on the EM Bypass at night besides other things on that road. You are talking of a girl whos 10 years old, well here back in your "home with all its culture" , they are raping girls 7 months old: Ooops yeah who did that - a boy whos 9 years old...wow !
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sumjo
Soberflier,
It is amazing to see how you have hijacked what I have said and concocted the hyperbole. My point was only that avoid offering help until you are expressly asked for it. Also, help as is the standard followed in this society and culture. If you re-read my post, my advice to Margo was that instead of escorting the person, she should have called the police. And it is not true that people here are not helpful. There are many more volunteer services in this country than you can possibly imagine in India. And these volunteer services cover several areas examples being visiting old people and driving them around town, getting their shopping done, talking to them and providing company, volunteering in palliative care, working free of charge teaching chidren and adults, acting as traffic controllers for the police, organizing and working in food banks feeding the homeless and many many more. Helping others in need is quite common and visible here. The only difference is that it is organized and people are expected to follow some standard procedures. And those procedures that are in practice are intended for the benefit of both the helper and the helped. The police here is very efficient, and so are the paramedical services. Help is available for everyone but in standard ways.
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Orginally posted by soberflier
Hi Wisernow......
The examples which you gave - those are indian, right ?
No they are not. They are of Canada.
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Orginally posted by soberflier
....those who are familiar with it will vouch that practically every month theres a cab driver getting killed on the EM Bypass at night
How do they get killed? Do they get shot? Cite?
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Orginally posted by soberflier
Hetal Parekh 14 years of age a student raped and stabbed 21 times by a security guard Dhanajay Chatterjee 20 years of age then(with a wife at home too) - who was hanged recently.
After raping her, did he cut her up in pieces? I never said that rapes do not happen here. They do, but the nature of some of the crimes is very heinous.
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Orginally posted by soberflier
centuries of "culture" there are parents who are strangling infant daughters after birth
That does not happen because of culture. Nowhere in any education is it taught to practice infanticide. These are evils purported by SOCIETY. Evolution of social beviour is very different from evolution of culture. Infanticide is practiced by people out needs imposed on them by society. Social reform is the answer to such problems. It has nothing to do with culture.
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Orginally posted by soberflier(??? save dowry ?? materialistic - you said- well did you account for being materialistic with ones own child ??)
This rant of yours does not make any sense to me.
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Orginally posted by soberflier
there was this case in the newspapers when a girl child was born at night and the nurse thought she saw the mother trying to breast feed it when in reality she was strangling her. There was another one a few weeks back when the mother took her child to the bathroom and drowned the girl in a bucket of water with phenyl disinfectant. There are 100s of cases in Chandigarh of female babies being found wrapped in packets in garbage bins.
Refer above.
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Orginally posted by soberflier
Speaking for self, about a year back my parents and wife were taking a train to Delhi from Calcutta when my father collapsed in the platform due to a stroke.....snip
I myself would not do anything in a situation like when I am not sure what I should do, and whether what I am doing is going to be good or bad for the person I am trying to help. It assume people who were standing aound your father must have been informed by your wife and mother about your presence and availability. If I know that someone's son is around, what do I do other than wait for the son to show up. Yes, if there was no one around and your father was alone, the reaction of people would have been likely different.
The rest is a good story of a good traffic constable.
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Orginally posted by soberflier
what do you say Margo - you would just love to stay next door to such a nice man - who when he sees your son crying on the door cos mamma is away wont give him a sandwich and make him watch TV and then tell you to not worry, but instead call 911...
Man, you sure can rave! Who says, people here are supposed to call 911 if they see a neighbour's child crying?
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wisernow
Hi Wisernow...
whether you want to believe things or not is something which is entirely up to you.
As you say help only when expressely asked to - didnt the old man ask Margo for assistance.
I guess how a cabbie dies - by knife wound or gunshot - is more of a concern to you huh ? The fact that he dies is not something to be considered till its from a gunshot wound - then only would it qualify as a crime, huh ?
Hetal Parekh was raped , strangled & stabbed 21 times, not enough for you - oh i guess he should have cut her into pieces too - till he does that its OK by your standards, huh ?
So infanticide is ok too - nice! " cause of needs imposed by society" (as you say )- Pray enumerate what needs ? huh ?
Someone collapsing on a platform (none of it is a story - and i wish i hadnt bothered either) does not warrant attention - as you say- yeah sure ! Whatever you say.
So let me get this straight, we claim to live in a "society" ( i am sorry i had to put those " "because somehow i get the feeling its not something real anymore) where we dont do much good - cos there are other to do that - paramedics, volunteers etc.
Maybe i am the one whos wrong..........after all.
I guess wiser now is right, Margo. Maybe what you did was STUPID.
I GIVE UP.
Regards
SF 
Margo,
That really was a good deed, you should feel pride and not regret. However in the future, I would agree with Wisernow's suggestion that it may be a better idea to call 911 in cases like these.
Not out of the fear of getting sued. Yes, there are some jerks who may actually sue you for helping them, but we're talking about the minority, most people will not do that. That itself is not a big issue. The issue is if you take it upon yourself to go to the extent you do and the person you are helping (specially old people) encounter some health trouble on the way, you will caught in a really awkward position. If you call 911, the cops would be there in a few minutes at the latest, you can certainly wait there till they arrive. And let them take it up from there.
I don't agree with Wisernow's suggestion though that crimes here are more heinous. I recently read some story where some SOB in delhi cut up his wife and threw her into a tandoor. Soberflier's narration of his experiences there are extremely thought-provoking and hardly surprising. In India, if goondas are beating up a guy on the road, how many people will come to their rescue? People find ways of justifying stuff like this and walk on. Yet, you routinely read cases about people who really went out of their way to help someone there too.
Its no different here. Anyways, kudos on a job well done, you should really be proud of yourself.
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Are you there?
Thanks BL. I don't regret what I did, and I don't take pride in it either. It is just my nature and I would probably do it again if needed, but being a little wiser now that I know the proper channels here. My sister has been in this country for over 25 years and she still gets into scrapes for doing things like this 
. Anyway, I guess there are rewards, because people have gone out of their way to help her too and she has plenty of friends.
Cheers, Margo
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The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up - - Paul Valery
Hi BL , Hi Margo
Just this morning i was telling my wife about the incident. She heard it through and said exactly what BL just posted, that while your (Margo's) intention was good but you should have called for the police and waited with the old man till they arrived.
Hmmmmmm........so ahem ahem koff koff...so i stand corrected.
Regards
SF
