Posted on: 17-02-05 14:23:06
Quote:
Orginally posted by DiogenestheCynic
One finds dating and multiple relationships both pre and extra marital more common .
I do not remember the edition of Outlook but a survey among the college and school goers revealed opposite of what we think about premarital sex and virginity in India. Hypocracy is the second religion in India. One cannot view a culture in one country relative to that of another. What we find not acceptable and is a taboo ( again hypocracy ) may be normal and acceptable to all.
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Quote:
Orginally posted by mimipapa
I do not remember the edition of Outlook but a survey among the college and school goers revealed opposite of what we think about premarital sex and virginity in India.
I tend to agree...80-90% of my friends(both sexes) were well initiated into wordly ways
by the age of 20. This was Bombay(Mumbai) of late 80's. Maybe it was because it was Bombay...maybe my crowd...anyways...the point is...the kids were doing it then...as they are now .-----------------------------------------------------------------
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It is once again a topic where participants will have entirely different views - on deeper analysis, I feel it is a product of opinions made while you are still young.
I have experienced that if people migrate to the west at young age (below 30) they tend to change faster or lets say, they are able to change to the western culture, where else, if people migrate at a later stage of their lives, they take time to change (generally people in the age group 31-42), or do not change atall (generally above 45 years). But then it is with life anywhere - within your own country or within your own city.
Why I bring up this? To introduce a fact that those who oppose Manasvi's post in a direct or indirect manner would generally be the persons who came to west before they were 30, while those who will strongly second his opinion, will usually be persons who came here after say 45.
Try to go deeper in the very question of migration to understand why people of different age groups would have opposite opinions about the 'culture difference' topic Manasvi has put up. Once again, generally speaking, those who have migrated at a young age, in my opinion and which people might not agree to, have done so because they were either lured with the money, or did not approve of the 'Indian culture' ab-initio, and have just done it to satisfy their own need rather than family's need. On the other hand, those who migrate after say 40, do it either for their children (and hense the family values), or they are simply fed up with the Indian systems (NOT culture).
So, when they do migrate, they see the west with a different perspective. Young ones find that they like the system and culture because it is what they wanted (or were against the Indian culture which they had hardly had a chance to experience as adults) and so seem to defend it, knowingly or unknowingly. On the other hand, people migrating in middle age, compare it what they were used to and believed in.
I shall (as usual) substantiate with examples:
In the west, children become independent sooner than in India. Young migrants would like that, since they too have done the same, and they have a valid point. On the other hand, middle age migrants also have a valid point that maturity and understanding comes not from books and degrees, but from own experience through age, and so children should be protected, guided and instructed in many things of their lives. Both reasons are valid - but different age groups adhere to different points. Just like you do not realise the sacrifices your parents made when you were young till you become a parent yourself.
Love for family, in the Indian culture, is not a thing to displayed, but to be felt and shared. In the west, they make it a point to display their love on Father's day, Mother's day, Valentine's day etc. etc., or by doing their part by calling their parents Every. Single. Day
Respect for elders is sometimes shown in the west by opening the door or puling up the chair for them, or paying for their stay at the old people's home or God knows how (since I have not come across many instances) - but in India it is shown Every.Single.Day by the way one communicates with them (Aap), not showing anger to them even if one is, providing them not only physical comfort but mental security and company too, etc. etc.
Now once again, both aspects are correct - only difference is which one do you subscribe to.
And by the way Jake - I was in my 20s in the 80s and had a lot of friends who were girls - quite close to them infact (I used to be smart looking then
) - but got initiated into the worldly ways (as you put it) only after may marriage. The difference I suppose was I was not in one of the 4 metros of India - Bombay - but rather in one of the 1000s of small towns of India - Jaipur! And just remember, minority never makes the 'general' rule, just like majority never makes 'exceptions'!
Chandresh
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Chandresh
Advice is free – lessons I charge for!!
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
Why I bring up this? To introduce a fact that those who oppose Manasvi's post in a direct or indirect manner would generally be the persons who came to west before they were 30, while those who will strongly second his opinion, will usually be persons who came here after say 45.
I disagreed with some of the points Manasvi made. And no, I did not come here before 30. I did not second his opinion and when I came I was over 40. Go figure.
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
In the west, children become independent sooner than in India.
How do you say that? What exactly do you mean to say when you say independent? University education takes about the same amount of time anywhere. And it is a wrong impression people have that Canadians kick out their children and do not support them after they are 18 or whatever. All the Canadians I know from decent educated families, are either saving for their children's university education or are trying to help them by paying a part of tuition. Post secondary education here is so expensive here that it is virtually impossible for the parents to bear the full expense as is common in India. That does not mean that they love their children any less.
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
Respect for elders is sometimes shown in the west by opening the door or puling up the chair for them, or paying for their stay at the old people's home or God knows how (since I have not come across many instances) -
This whole thing about the aged living in old people's homes is so badly twisted that it is almost ridiculous. It is spoken about in the Indian fraternity as if it is some type of "ghor paap" the childeren commit when their parents go to old age homes! Nothing could be further than the truth. Go ask any of the residents of the old age homes that given a choice whether they would like to stay with their children and the answer will be 'No'. Why? Because that is the norm here. The parents do not want to stay with the children. It is not because the children have kicked them out or anything like that. Not staying independent either by themselves or in the old age home is something that is not unusual for them. They prefer that. It is by choice and not out of compulsion. It should also be understood that the care and looking-fter that an old person needs is better provided by the trained personnel of old age homes. They end up spending better quality time amongst people their own age. I myself would like to be in an old age home when I am so old as to need help.
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
Love for family, in the Indian culture, is not a thing to displayed, but to be felt and shared. In the west, they make it a point to display their love on Father's day, Mother's day, Valentine's day etc. etc., or by doing their part by calling their parents Every. Single. Day
Are you trying to say that family members here do not "feel" and "share" love?? I agree they have more "social" ways of demonstrating love and affection. But by what logic do you conlcude that they do not "share" and "feel" love as Indians do. What makes you so vain and arrogant that you can dismiss their feelings of love and affections as something inferior?
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
but in India it is shown Every.Single.Day by the way one communicates with them (Aap), not showing anger to them even if one is, providing them not only physical comfort but mental security and company too, etc. etc.
I was not trying to compare the modes of displaying love and affection.
What I am not willing to accept is that that children from decent backgrounds here love or respect their parents any less than those in India. That is crap. An Indian may display affection and respect by touching feet and a Canadian may display the same by calling his parents Every.Single.Day. There is none better than the other. To each his own.
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Diogenes
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The Cynic
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
The difference I suppose was I was not in one of the 4 metros of India - Bombay - but rather in one of the 1000s of small towns of India - Jaipur!
Chandresh
Thats what i meant when I said...'maybe because it was bombay'. Many attach a lot of importance to sex before marriage and many dont. Both in india and abroad. To each his own.
Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
And just remember, minority never makes the 'general' rule, just like majority never makes 'exceptions'!
we can never be sure which is the exception and which is the general rule
...all we have is our own belief system framed on what we 'think' falls into those categories.-----------------------------------------------------------------
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Quote:
Orginally posted by chandresh
In the west, children become independent sooner than in India.
I don’t mean to take us all off on a tangent, but well, if you consider Italian men, maybe not! Read on about Italian men who love to live with their mamas
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5761647
Quote:
Orginally posted by crenshaw
I don’t mean to take us all off on a tangent, but well, if you consider Italian men, maybe not! Read on about Italian men who love to live with their mamas
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5761647
Dont forget the Greeks either
. They are pretty much the same. My Greek colleague and his mrs lived longer with their parents(as did their siblings) than I did with mine. I know...i'm just adding to stereotypes again...as if there arent enough in this thread already
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