Great views posted by Morning rain, dimple & shankaracharya.
Morning rain, you certainly seem to have a mature head on your young shoulders. I agree with your view that whether it is India or Canada or any other country, what is more important is how much respect or love you have for your kids & kids for their parents. For some people, living together with parents will work whereas for some living separately will work.
For some, nothing will work.
Rgds.
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Let's make India a better place !
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 04-03-06 23:47:35
Hi All,
Great posts ! Shankaracharya I have a question. You wrote:
"The best solution which I feel is that to provide enough financial assistance with no strings attached to our parents at their old age".
What would you do in the scenario that you are struggling financially to pay your rent give your children an education etc. What if you cannot afford to assist ur parents.
what values from "indian culture" do you believe are the most important? Are these values also in the 'north american culture' ?
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~ Morning rain
Location: Canada-Glorious and Free
Posted on: 04-03-06 23:51:17
Quote:
Orginally posted by Amit2006
Hello:
Most of us feel so proud when our kids talk to us in North American accent in front of our relatives/friends, When we visit India with them. Our kids were born/brought up here in Canada.
But how many of you firmly believe that you would be provided with adequate care and love by your children when you would be old and sick in canada?
How many of you can firmly say that your children (who were brought up in North America) would not leave you & let you suffer all alone in Hospitals when you would be counting your final days?
Being a parent, there is nothing more I'd like to see than independant children who are thriving in the enviroment they are living in. The welfare of my children is more important to me than my own. Why would I want them to be bogged down by me? That would be very selfish of me. You cannot truly want to create that kind of expectation from your kids.
And it is a misconception that North Americans don't care about their parents. A very close Gora friend had to move his mother to a nursing home because she needed constant medical attention. And I know the agony he went through. It was a though decission for him and his family.
And while I don't want to hijack this discussion, I am waiting for someone to build a Desi seniors home. If they can only stop building temples and build something that we'll all really need in a few years.
BV
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 05-03-06 01:50:22
Quote:
Orginally posted by Big Vee
Being a parent, there is nothing more I'd like to see than independant children who are thriving in the enviroment they are living in. The welfare of my children is more important to me than my own. Why would I want them to be bogged down by me? That would be very selfish of me. You cannot truly want to create that kind of expectation from your kids.
And it is a misconception that North Americans don't care about their parents. A very close Gora friend had to move his mother to a nursing home because she needed constant medical attention. And I know the agony he went through. It was a though decission for him and his family.
And while I don't want to hijack this discussion, I am waiting for someone to build a Desi seniors home. If they can only stop building temples and build something that we'll all really need in a few years.
BV
Bigvee:
You'll then be happy to know that in Surrey there is now a seniors residence which is meant for multicultural seniors (its run by an indo canadian agency). They are also adding on an assisted living centre with 72 beds.
Hopefully this is the beginning of a national trend.
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~ Morning rain
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 05-03-06 02:52:37
Sankaracharya's statement :
"The best solution which I feel is that to provide enough financial assistance with no strings attached to our parents at their old age".
Quote from Morning Rain
"What would you do in the scenario that you are struggling financially to pay your rent give your children an education etc. What if you cannot afford to assist ur parents."
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TK writes,
This is exactly my predicament.
My parents are in India and i came to canada thinking that i can send them more money if i come to canada.
I am upto my neck indebt and i really have not been able to send money to my parents who are retired and they really want to come and stay in Canada with me for the rest of their remaining lives.
When i am not even able to support myself fully in this country how can i help my parents?
What would other CD members do to help their parents if they were in my shoes? Your replies would help me to really help my parents feel better.
When i was just a little boy, all my parents devoted their entire time to take care of me and my brother. They used to take care of us in such a good way, spend money on all that we ask them, made us study in the best schools, woke up along with is during the exam time/ 12 th. std. and fed us with drinks/food etc.., bought us the best cloths, provided us with a 2 wheeler to go to school/exams and while in college, take care of my 5 years hostel/mess bills, used to pay for our field trips/ equipments etc..
I am ashamed to think of what i have done in return by coming to Canada
1. did not see them for 3 years
2. have not sent them any significant money.
Now all they want is more time and love from us but being in Canada, i canot afford that. I am struggling to pay my own bills, am in an office where my potential is not being exploied ( and i feel that i am getting dumber each day) and i really fell that i lost 4 years of my life in Canada.
I know that many CD members whoi are contributers to this forum are struggling themselves. How do these CD members helping their parents?
TK
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 05-03-06 14:08:17
Quote:
Orginally posted by tamilkuravan
Sankaracharya's statement :
"The best solution which I feel is that to provide enough financial assistance with no strings attached to our parents at their old age".
Quote from Morning Rain
"What would you do in the scenario that you are struggling financially to pay your rent give your children an education etc. What if you cannot afford to assist ur parents."
****************************************
TK writes,
This is exactly my predicament.
My parents are in India and i came to canada thinking that i can send them more money if i come to canada.
I am upto my neck indebt and i really have not been able to send money to my parents who are retired and they really want to come and stay in Canada with me for the rest of their remaining lives.
When i am not even able to support myself fully in this country how can i help my parents?
What would other CD members do to help their parents if they were in my shoes? Your replies would help me to really help my parents feel better.
When i was just a little boy, all my parents devoted their entire time to take care of me and my brother. They used to take care of us in such a good way, spend money on all that we ask them, made us study in the best schools, woke up along with is during the exam time/ 12 th. std. and fed us with drinks/food etc.., bought us the best cloths, provided us with a 2 wheeler to go to school/exams and while in college, take care of my 5 years hostel/mess bills, used to pay for our field trips/ equipments etc..
I am ashamed to think of what i have done in return by coming to Canada
1. did not see them for 3 years
2. have not sent them any significant money.
Now all they want is more time and love from us but being in Canada, i canot afford that. I am struggling to pay my own bills, am in an office where my potential is not being exploied ( and i feel that i am getting dumber each day) and i really fell that i lost 4 years of my life in Canada.
I know that many CD members whoi are contributers to this forum are struggling themselves. How do these CD members helping their parents?
TK
Do ur parents have any financial resources besides your assistance?
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~ Morning rain
Location: God's own country
Posted on: 05-03-06 15:37:44
yes. they have. but barely to see them through.
My father, who works in retired life as a vet. doc. making house calls earns aroiund Rs. 2000 a month. He is 64 and travels in a scooter to treat cows. He has a house which my youunger bought for him and hence he does not need to pay for rent.
My mother (age 64) recently had brain tumor and had a pacemaker installed and so she canot do much work but just lives on.
TK
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
