Dear desis

Don't you think we are killing our feelings,our kids, real happiness of our life in canada? I think we are for sure.

I been in canada for last 10 years. The first few years after I migrate to canada were not so bad, because it was a new challenge,so many new things to learn , settling down in canada,find a job, buy a home ,buy the furniture and electronics for the home etc. But even after I had everything I could not buy inner happiness.

Right now I have everything in my home.I can buy what ever I want but I don't want to .I am so fed up with this canadian lifestyle. We forgot the true meaning of life after we came to this robotics country.In this country life is just work, eat and sleep. Enjoyment is nothing but just go to the mall,buy something for the kids,or may be get together once a month if you have some real friends.In canada everybody has lots of time but they want to show other people that they are very busy in their own life.What they are busy for watching movies or go for shopping ?Common that are the things that you do to keep yourself busy even if you don't like to do it. And in winter time the home feels like nothing else but a well equipped jail.Kids don't do anything but just watch tv, sit on computer and when nothing to do then sleep. In our back home when we were small we didn't even know the word stress,but in canada even small kids have a stress too and that we can read on our kids eyes.

For last couple of years I was thinking why we are here for? Why people who are well settled in India or any other country they want to migrate to canada.They can get the simmiliar life style or even better in their country.And even if we don't get some services in our country we have so many other good things in our country that we are never going to get here.Even if I would make less money than here I don't care . At least me,my husband and my kids won't have a stress in my country, and that will make me happier than live in this sofesticated country.

I am thinking of going back home and try to settle down in my country. And you can take my words on it that after ten years from now more and more people will return to back home .

So what's your opinion about my decision to return backhome?
I will be happy to recieve any suggestions,comments or advice.

i see it this way. in india, we take things for granted. but here, its like there is no free lunch. most of us know how to get things done there by any means.. here, we have to work hard.. because there is no chachu or mamu some where up in that beaurocracy ladder to come to our rescue!

what's wrong in working hard? after all this is the age to work hard (i assume you are not above 50)

if you observe some families here, you can see everyone including their extended-family members are in canada. so, if you ask them, they would say, there is no one in india to go back. why? because once one from a family land here, they strive to bring the remaining members of their family. that is called community upliftment. (or whatever!)

on the contrary, we, think just for ourselves. our life. most of us not ready to make sacrifices/not in a position to help someone from our family to come here. (here family does not mean our immediate family members like mom/dad/spouse) with this attitude, we chose to be loners. then why complain?

if you go back to india, chances are that, all from the younger generation are already out of country or eager to leave country.

we all have diff. kinds of problems.. may be i cant understand urs.. but if you decide to go back to india.. fine.. go back. but dont say life style here is bad. most of us learned accountability, hard work after coming here. after living 10 years in this country, you might have picked few qualities unique to this country. one of them may be "complaining" so, once you go back to India, dont complain there by comparing that life styles with that of canada's. they both are very different.

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I am not Bossy! I just have better ideas!!

It is the same thread at 2 different places

http://www.canadiandesi.com/read.php?TID=1623

http://www.canadiandesi.com/read.php?TID=1625

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I agree with Suryau about 'complaining'. We do it here all the time.
When it is cold we say 'oh it is so cold' when it is hot we say 'oh it is so hot'
There are certain things you cannot change about nature. Why do you think Canadians like their county so much. They just like there 'Four Seasons'.
It is the same in India. We complain about everything, the quality of life, standing in a queue, the politicians, the phone company, the cable people, the maid, the neighbours, the inlaws, as so on and on......
Did you look deep within yourself and ask yourself why you first came here. I am sure you did it for a reason, perhaps the free kids education, better future for the kids, the medical, etc
Did you achieve all this and are ready to quit after 10 years. If you are a loser here, you will be a loser in India.
After 10 years do your kids (if they are teenagers) are ready to go back with you. I doubt it. If they do then you have not shown them the true Canada and the opportunities if they work hard.
I would agree if you have succeeded and are going back to so some social work and help the less fortunate in India.
If you think by selling all you have here and going back-buying a good home and enjoy the rest of your life then i think you will realize it sooner or later.
Finally where ever you are it is always going to be the same. YOu may not have stress there but i can assure that you will have tension.
GOOD LUCK

Dear Hindustani...
You have taken a good decision to go back to India.I really appreciate that.But the reson for taking the decison i have not liked it personally.
If everyone gets inner happiness by staying in india iw ish the whole world would have been there.Remeber Inner happiness does not depend on the country,job,tv,studies andany other metrliastic object....inner happiness is something related to the mind and control of senses.

First of all remeber... every country ..every place every area has got its own pros and cons.... situatios are always the same..but how we react to the situation is different.The beuty of the mind you should understand...it never stays at one place..it always tries to find happiness when it complains.The mind keeps going up and down thats why its called monkey mind..its not just with you but with everone...what you should always see is that what ever happens happens for your good...if you are going to india ...may be its just for your good..if you happen to be in toronto its just for good...the problem with us we hardly live 60 -65 years and 3/4th time we keep complaining about our lives.I hope we use thsi time in creating ourselves as better human beings rather than better citizens.Thank God for he has given you everything in life..thank God for allowing you to live comfortably..if you are getting bored take time to learn how an ordinary person tries to struggle in his life to come up..if possible try to help him..when you do this then you get inner happiness..
by just putting name hindustani you dont become hindustani..you become true hindustani when you practise the values of hindustani you become a true hindustanii..it doesnt matter where you stay in this world..uphold your culture..feel that you belong to this culture and practis ethe culture...thas when you become true hindustani.

when we have immigrated remeber one thing we have left india for goodin other terms....
Yoou have left your Mother land and adopted anew mother land...

Can you expect the true mothers love from an adopte mother....
that will never happen..but as atrue indian we should definetly respect any country becos they have given us what everthey think is best for us..because mother always gives what is best for her child...

I dont know why people keep on complaining about things....when they are good and when they are bad...i can only see that their minds are not stable
Please remeber there are three types of people...

Complaining...... which you find quite often on this website
explaining....... which you find now and then
Inspiring...... which i have to see yet on this website
By the way i do not want to complian by saying this..what i meen is
Change the way you look at the things happening and you will change the way you are living now....
Everyone has got the same amount of brain...very few people are successful....many people are sucessfully failed becos they dont use most of it....
First Feel you are a human being....then any natinality...then things will be alright...
stopy crying about the rights one has to get and start the day with what you can give to the society
To be extra ordinary you need that extra in you....and you have that take my word...
Be where ever in the world..be urself..stick to values called Human values.. which are same for any person living in this world..

Please understand my idea is only that every person should be a better person weather he is desi or non desi..lets see what best we can do to humanity at large...after all we are going to live another few years why Cry.

If you have observed ...when human being takes birth.. he starts crying and through out life he keeps crying and at the end also he is crying..
please at least from today start smiling..that will relive all the problems


In true human spirit

Murthy

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suresh

Quote:
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Orginally posted by hindustani

But even after I had everything I could not buy inner happiness....

I will be happy to recieve any suggestions,comments or advice.
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Here are a few thoughts.
Inner happiness can be found only by feeding the inner you...am i right? Isnt this true wherever you are? I have many friends back in india who are unhappy inside too. If feeding your inner self can be accomplished easier in India you should go back for sure! Are you sure you are not looking outside of yourself to nourish the inner you? Can your surroundings and the people outside fill the void that you feel inside? Money and material things were never designed to fill that void, were they? Incase you are not doing it already, what about volunteering to help others if you have time? Can that help? A few on this board are trying to put together a similar initiative. Why dont you join us?

Why are the kids watching too much TV? Are you not spending time with them? I try to spend time as much of time I can with my kids. We actually enact plays from the books I read to them. Craft, painting etc is some of the things the wife and i do together with them. We go to the library. Make snow angels in the back yard. Talk a lot to each other. Have a lot of fun on weekends which is our time together. Children can also take music classes or other art classes. We love spending family time with each other and are quite adamant in not spending this time any other way.
In my house the TV is in the basement. Another tv which was in the bedroom is also moved to the basement and not hooked on. I've also cut cable(i still get it ...damn them).
India is changing too and along with the booming economy all the problems here will be found there too. Are you sure that, going there, is what you actually need to do?
Maybe you are missing family there and/or more people who think the same way you do? Are you sure that, even after 10 years, you are finding it difficult to adapt to a new lifestyle and that is the not the actual reason you want to go back? I guess its upto you to answer the questions for yourself. After all, it is *your* soul that knows what it actually needs. I just wanted to share my thoughts with you since you asked for them

Dr.Phil has to leave now

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