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Originally posted by Amit2006

Tamil Culture is entirely difft. from North Indian one. Tamils are basically more conservative, sentimental, preserve family values, not changed much in attitude with decades pass by.
But North Indian society has changed a lot with time, less family sentiments, more liberal and more materialistic.
These were my observations.

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~ Morning rain

Amit, TK,

Please leave this culture comparison behind.. You can't generalize North or South. It depends on individuals..
Let us get in to the subject, what could help the kids better..

Its easy for me to give a similar comment about People from other region, but it is going to be baseless as People can't be generalized...

I wish to talk about the regional culture only if it is interest of Movies, Songs, Ghazals, food etc.., else it doesn't deserve to point out the difference..

JRF.

Quote:

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Originally posted by Amit2006

Tamil Culture is entirely difft. from North Indian one. Tamils are basically more conservative, sentimental, preserve family values, not changed much in attitude with decades pass by.
But North Indian society has changed a lot with time, less family sentiments, more liberal and more materialistic.
These were my observations.

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The cowards never started,
The weak died on the way,
Only the strong arrived.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yK1i9cLAMM

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Originally posted by JRF

Very interesting thread............

I tried to write something, erased, wrote again and erased.
The reason, I am not able to ponit to one specific place as the best, secured, promising by all means.

Do you think it is a good idea if we exchange our views which could help for the better life of our kids here.....

Couple of things come to my mind as something I could do to support our kid to reach new heights in their life if we have

- Reasonably paid job or a business,
- could allot personal time with kids,
- abstain from fighting with others in front of the kids (with family members),
friendly and be right when required,
- Be positive and encouraging, not to vent our frustration,
- Speak good things about the country you're from and the country you are living,
- Appreciate the native culture and culture of your new home,
- Not to defame other culture, nation, people or any sort, suggest HATE as a bad word,
- Point out the problems with Drugs and Teenage issues (I hope you guys understand) when they reach specific age,
- Research on Education investment, keep it open as far field is concerned, you never know whether the kid will like doing Medicine, Engg. etc., etc.,



From my view and based on my expecations, I found Canada (esp.., Toronto, GTA) is more appropriate for me to raise the child. This way I could help my child to learn good things with both the cultures (West and East), Pre-req to this is a reasonable financial support through your Job or Business.....Mmmm there could be some problems but I want to spend some time exploring how to face the problems. Moving out to a different nation is not my ultimate goal........ I've lived in US, I found it is Ok in its own kid to raise a kid if we're adaptible..
Same with Middle East and India...........
What hurts me is when I start comparing the school facilities in India with US while in India..Comparing US school facilities with India while in US.......

Practically, I feel the Parents are responsible to provide the basics to the Kids...Yes, it is the resopnsiblity. I don't want to assume the responsibility the ohter way as Parents get think sometimes..


I enrolled my Daughter in the US school and then in India for some time.. I found she is not doing great with academics but above average though. Where as I found her to be acting more like a Big picture person, keen observation, strong memory, and few other good positive things... I got to do some work to see how I could help her use her natural ability to excel in her life..

I wish (or some one who is willing) to collect good things about raising the kids in Canada, what can we do, how to help.. I am positive we will find lots of things as this thread matures.........

- JRF.

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~ Morning rain

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Originally posted by morning_rain

I also suspect that when push comes to shove, your kids will use their values and ethics and sense of self they have developed to make decisions about what to do with their lives.

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Originally posted by morning_rain

I agree it can be taken to ridiculous extremes sometimes.
On the other hand.. if openness bothers one .. then it may be easier to return to a community or environment where expectations are laid flat out..then you dont have to think for yourself.

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Originally posted by jake3d

. I agree...but where are such people going to run to?. I really dont think the India they talk about exist. That environment is long gone atleast in the cities.
Even 15 yrs ago, when I was in my mid teens in India, the youth were breaking taboos all the time, as they have always done. Dating was common even then( with or without the knowledge of family). 90% of my friends had a partner by the age of 17/18. Atleast a cpl of them have also married their college sweethearts(from outside their community)...including me and my brother.

I still have my family including another brother in India and his lifestyle is more westernised than mine . The younger generation in India is seeking and finding independence in greater degrees each day. Their affluence only adds to their confidence. Society is changing in Indian cities, faster than it is here. With the surge in economy this process will only be accelerated. I understand going to India for economic opportunities...but to 'Indianize'(whatever that means) kids??? Yes the kids will celebrate Indian festivals, speak Indian languages etc, but as for retaining a conservative mindset (which I think is the big issue that bothers our friends here) of the older generation...its a long shot. They will be exposed to the same choices there as they are here.

Yes there is always going to be some backwater hamlet where the clones can be happy ...that's probably where that line of thought belongs anyway. Its asif these guys are caught in a mental timewarp...out of step with both the Canada and the India of today.

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~ Morning rain

It is quite refreshing to see most of you agreeing to disagree amicably

I concur with the statements from Jake & MR. I grew up in a village and there is no comparison between the lifestyle and attitude of kids in the city these days with that of what I experienced as a kid. The kids today have changed a lot, some changes are for the better and some for worse.

I made some observations earlier comparing an American 6 yr old (well, 7 now) to kids in India. Let me make another observation now. I am impressed with the values of Indian Americans born and brought up in the US with whom I have come in contact with.

These youngsters, whom we jokingly refer to as ABCDs are extremely good kids who did well in school and society. They are respectful of their parents. Most of them did not take part in western activities like proms or spring breaks. They went to good schools, most of them aspire to become doctors, dentists or scientists. One girl who worked with me in the US was so disciplined that she said she will marry the man her parents select for her. A lot of them try their best to find their mate among their own kind and enter into marriage with their parent's permission and blessings. Amazing! I am yet to find an ABCD who has fallen foul of his/her parents. Most parents seem to be proud of their children.

I am sure there are a few cases where ABCD folks have broken off with their parents in many respects, but I have not met any.

So, TK, you may send your daughter to India to grow up with or without you. If, however, she grows up in Canada with good parenting, it is highly likely that she will do you proud. Good luck to you either way.

Thenmozhi