Mother -in-Law visiting from India!!!!!
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Posted on: 28-09-09 12:36:34
Depending on what your [visiting] MIL is requesting of you, it is best to handle it one of two ways:
1) Do a mental calculation to see whether her request will adversely affect you mentally for a long time or something that will be forgotten quickly. If it is the latter than go ahead and do it. (For example: MIL -> "Kids are messy". You -> "Okay, let me change their clothes"
. Eventually she will have very less to nit-pick about.
or
2) Provide vague, irrefutable answers which stump any further conversation. (For example: MIL -> "You are of a different religion than us and I insist my grandchildren take up after their father [your husband]." You -> (without having to drag the hubby into this one) "I do not mind which religious path the kids take up just so as long as they are good-hearted, just like you." (I know, I know, you will need to bite your tongue REALLY hard on that one, but it will save a lot of unnecessary hassle/conversation that could be!)
This is not by any means going to stop the wrath of a MIL who is consumed with unnecessary jealousy and revenge. But it will definitely prove advantageous in curbing most of their 'concerns' in a sensible, straight to the point, way.
This trick should work best for the visiting MILs, the rest who are having MILs like this with them till kingdom come, help you God! 
Where are all the MIL's?
They are all probably bashing DIL's on www.indiandesi.com 
On a serious note, since MIL's are under represented here, i will play the devil's advocate (pun intended).
1) The worst part of a man's life is to see his wife and mother fighting with each other. One of those he has spent half his life with and the other he hopes to spend his remaining part of his life. Each are equally important in life.
2) A mother and son share a bond by blood. Hence, the reluctance of a son to take a stand against his mom. As they say, a man may have many wives but only one mother.
3) As the popular TV serial goes, The DIL of today is the MIL of tomorrow. Life will come full circle. I keep reminding my wife that How she treats my mom will determine how her DIL treats her tomorrow..... (This line usually works. Try it guys)
P.s: On a side note, It is a age old mystery how Son-in-laws and mother-in-laws get on so well (Except for an odd joke or two).
Peace to all MIL’s and DIL’s.
seenappa
keep her continously busy with shopping,cooking, playing with grandchildren and keep distance, don't get too close. see to it that she is comfortable and satisfy her needs and try to keep her happy. one day we also will be in her shoes.remember that.
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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
Mahatma Gandhi
In case some of you members haven't seen this is a 3 year old post. Nothing stopping you from replying though.... 
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SS
Reiki Grand Master
When parents come, you can do couple of things to make them happy and busy
- Make sure you have a indian channels
- If not, buy Ramayan, Krishna( your religion)' dvds ( will keep them busy for atleas 3-4 month if they watch all)
- teach them how to use internet- keep native language site on favorites so they can read news papers, and other stuff
- Get some company for them of same age
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E mere vatan ke logo.............
If you want to do something for our country, just dont support corruption or be part of it
Quote:
Originally posted by smiley1
OH my GOD!!
My MIL's Sponsorship is on its way!
already she is causing so much trouble on visitor visa;
GOD help me!!!
I lived in a joint family for five years after marriage and faced similar expectations from my grandma in law who lived with us. So, while I sympathise, I know that you need to be very assertive to get anything to change. Talk to your husband, tell him in no uncertain terms that this situation has to change. Start putting your foot down with your MIL, telling her how you are equally tired and that she cannot have these expectations from you. In India many of us conformed to all these expectations .. here we do not need to. If she is going to come here for good at some point in time let her know what the situation is going to be before she arrives. If she wants her son to be pampered let her do that.
God will help you only if you help yourself first!
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Immigrant Parents in Canada http://groups.yahoo.com/group/immigrantparentsincanada
they are your parents or like parents, don't run away from them, your mother kept u inside her for 9 months to make you a normal human. remember whatever you do with your elders, will come back to you from your children. It is just a matter of few days or months... Be patience !
