Men only party-what's wrong with the wives
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Posted on: 01-03-10 15:46:32
Thanks Chandresh 
Quote:
Originally posted by chandresh
Good post! Really.
Quote:
Originally posted by guptamik
Quote:
Originally posted by KumarM
Couple of weeks back I had invited couple of my desi friends for a weekend party. Men only, with beer, pizza and fries. Nothing else. Things were good for the first half hour. Then the calls started coming to two of them from their wives and children to see if the party was done. I think the wives were using the kids to call the dads. I was really annoyed. At one time I grabbed the cell from one of them who got the call the nth time and told his wife if she was jealous and insecure, she was welcome to join us for beer and pizza. One of the other wives was giving the grocery list, that would be got next day. The calls were getting so frequent, that two of them had to leave in about two hours. Next day the lady to whom I had given piece of my mind called and started giving a lecture regarding how people need to attend parties as a family. Well, I asked her if they were going to do the same in a party what her husband was doing at my place. I asked her point blank what was her problem if he partied with other men he knows. She avoided my qn and started talking something else. By that itme I was fed up and told her to tie a leash around the guy's neck and take him wherever she goes and then hung up. I dont think I will invite him again for the next get together.
I dont understand this with the desis folks. What is wrong with couple of men getting together and have a good time. Just beer, pizza and talk what they want. May be rant, complain and take stuff off their chest. Why the wives have to be jealous and insecure. Are they thinking that the husbdands will spill out the truth? Those skeletons in the closet. Even if they go as a family, they would be doing the same. Men on one side, women on the other side of the house (there may net be beer and pizza and talk what they want).
Like to get views mainly from the married, specifically women.
KM
KM,
Glad that you do host guys' nights out and like many posters have said, just coz 2 people are married, have kids doens't mean they have to do everything together. I and my hubby do this too with our friends and there's never an issue. I think this is healthy as everyone does need a break from the routine and both my hubby and I like this break.
I also agree that the concept of get togethers where men sit in one room and women in the other is LAME and i think it doesn't happen as much with our generation as it used to (I'm talking about early to mid 30's generation by the way). I used to gripe about this too and then realised that the main reason for this is that not all men and women are comfortable talking about anything and everything in front of thier spouses and since they don't get a chance to have a gals or guys night out, they make the most of family get togethers. I'll take it further to add that it irks me even more when the guys automatically expect the mothers to take care of the kids. My hubby and I, like most of our friends do share the responsibility equally in social gatherings.
You have assumed that ALL indian women are against this concept of guys or gals night out. That's not the case. Today more and more women and men are busy with life and do like to take such breaks so please don't generalize. This is coming to you from an Indian married woman and mother
When the wife of ur friend called, Did your friend's demeanour indicate that he was bugged by the wife's calls? Did he complain about it? Did he apologize to you for the interruptions? Based on your post above, the only person who was annoyed by these calls was YOU!!! The issue I see with your post is that you assumed that these wives were calling to check up on thier husbands and that the husbands didn't like it. It could be genuine that the kid was saying mummy i want to talk to daddy (i know my son keeps picking up the fone and saying hello daddy when daddy is not home). It could also be that the wife was checking in to see how hubby is doing, is he having fun etc etc or perhaps part of her did feel insecure and she called to check in on him, SO WHAT? Point is that's between the dude and his wife and your giving the lady a piece of ur mind was uncalled for. You could have given the hubby a hard time joking with him to say why is ur wife calling up or what ever but who gave u the right to speak to her about it? What if this guy didn't mind his wife calling him or what if it was a preplanned approach to get him out of ur house quickly coz he doesn't enjoy your company (not saying that he doesn't but hypothetically speaking) and didn't want to say NO to you either? It could be any reason that this happened. If you did have the desire to talk to the wife, you could have been more pleasant and didn't have to blatantly state your thoughts. You insulted your friend and his wife by asking her to tie a leash around his neck. I think it's safe to assume that you have lost a friend and frankly if I was one of the other guys in the room i'd also think twice about coming to your place after such behavior! You should know who you can and cannot invite to such get togethers and not assume that everyone has a leash around their necks unless they specifically state so! I'm sure based on interaction with your friends you'd know who is open to such get togethers and who is not and instead of making it a bad night for all, pick and choose the right friends and u'll have success!!!!
Finally, to all those posters writing that they "LET" their wives go out... I mean COME ON REALLY? You "LET" them do it? wow, they must feel so obliged that you give them PERMISSION by LETTING them go out !!!! To use such language shows where you place her in LIFE and I think that's just wrong!!!!!
Happy Partying
guptamik,
I see your point. But I would rather not have a friend who is a chicken or a panzy. I don’t blink when it comes to saying as it is. If the marriage is 50:50, then what is the deal here?
IMO, aren't u contradicting yourself? Read the first and last para of your post.
KM
Quote:
Originally posted by guptamik
KM,
Glad that you do host guys' nights out and like many posters have said, just coz 2 people are married, have kids doens't mean they have to do everything together. I and my hubby do this too with our friends and there's never an issue. I think this is healthy as everyone does need a break from the routine and both my hubby and I like this break.
I also agree that the concept of get togethers where men sit in one room and women in the other is LAME and i think it doesn't happen as much with our generation as it used to (I'm talking about early to mid 30's generation by the way). I used to gripe about this too and then realised that the main reason for this is that not all men and women are comfortable talking about anything and everything in front of thier spouses and since they don't get a chance to have a gals or guys night out, they make the most of family get togethers. I'll take it further to add that it irks me even more when the guys automatically expect the mothers to take care of the kids. My hubby and I, like most of our friends do share the responsibility equally in social gatherings.
You have assumed that ALL indian women are against this concept of guys or gals night out. That's not the case. Today more and more women and men are busy with life and do like to take such breaks so please don't generalize. This is coming to you from an Indian married woman and mother
When the wife of ur friend called, Did your friend's demeanour indicate that he was bugged by the wife's calls? Did he complain about it? Did he apologize to you for the interruptions? Based on your post above, the only person who was annoyed by these calls was YOU!!! The issue I see with your post is that you assumed that these wives were calling to check up on thier husbands and that the husbands didn't like it. It could be genuine that the kid was saying mummy i want to talk to daddy (i know my son keeps picking up the fone and saying hello daddy when daddy is not home). It could also be that the wife was checking in to see how hubby is doing, is he having fun etc etc or perhaps part of her did feel insecure and she called to check in on him, SO WHAT? Point is that's between the dude and his wife and your giving the lady a piece of ur mind was uncalled for. You could have given the hubby a hard time joking with him to say why is ur wife calling up or what ever but who gave u the right to speak to her about it? What if this guy didn't mind his wife calling him or what if it was a preplanned approach to get him out of ur house quickly coz he doesn't enjoy your company (not saying that he doesn't but hypothetically speaking) and didn't want to say NO to you either? It could be any reason that this happened. If you did have the desire to talk to the wife, you could have been more pleasant and didn't have to blatantly state your thoughts. You insulted your friend and his wife by asking her to tie a leash around his neck. I think it's safe to assume that you have lost a friend and frankly if I was one of the other guys in the room i'd also think twice about coming to your place after such behavior! You should know who you can and cannot invite to such get togethers and not assume that everyone has a leash around their necks unless they specifically state so! I'm sure based on interaction with your friends you'd know who is open to such get togethers and who is not and instead of making it a bad night for all, pick and choose the right friends and u'll have success!!!!
Finally, to all those posters writing that they "LET" their wives go out... I mean COME ON REALLY? You "LET" them do it? wow, they must feel so obliged that you give them PERMISSION by LETTING them go out !!!! To use such language shows where you place her in LIFE and I think that's just wrong!!!!!
Happy Partying
That post probably seared the screen when it left your keyboard :-))
Are you not falling in the same trap of making assumptions when you stress on a single word such as LET. Not everybody has the eloquence or gift of writing to express what they are actually feeling when they write...You are assuming the post is from a male chauvinist....may not be true.
I found only one post which says LET anyway.
Agreed with Newton. "LET" doesn't sounds like 'With My Permission'.
Quote:
Originally posted by guptamik
What if this guy didn't mind his wife calling him or what if it was a preplanned approach to get him out of ur house quickly coz he doesn't enjoy your company (not saying that he doesn't but hypothetically speaking)
I absolutely agree on this
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Mumbai Maazi Ladki ...
Quote:
Originally posted by KumarM
guptamik,
I see your point. But I would rather not have a friend who is a chicken or a panzy. I don’t blink when it comes to saying as it is. If the marriage is 50:50, then what is the deal here?
IMO, aren't u contradicting yourself? Read the first and last para of your post.
KM
KM, you missed the point of my post
Anyway, I don't see where I am contradicting my self... care to explain?
Quote:
Originally posted by newton
Quote:
Originally posted by guptamik
KM,
Glad that you do host guys' nights out and like many posters have said, just coz 2 people are married, have kids doens't mean they have to do everything together. I and my hubby do this too with our friends and there's never an issue. I think this is healthy as everyone does need a break from the routine and both my hubby and I like this break.
I also agree that the concept of get togethers where men sit in one room and women in the other is LAME and i think it doesn't happen as much with our generation as it used to (I'm talking about early to mid 30's generation by the way). I used to gripe about this too and then realised that the main reason for this is that not all men and women are comfortable talking about anything and everything in front of thier spouses and since they don't get a chance to have a gals or guys night out, they make the most of family get togethers. I'll take it further to add that it irks me even more when the guys automatically expect the mothers to take care of the kids. My hubby and I, like most of our friends do share the responsibility equally in social gatherings.
You have assumed that ALL indian women are against this concept of guys or gals night out. That's not the case. Today more and more women and men are busy with life and do like to take such breaks so please don't generalize. This is coming to you from an Indian married woman and mother
When the wife of ur friend called, Did your friend's demeanour indicate that he was bugged by the wife's calls? Did he complain about it? Did he apologize to you for the interruptions? Based on your post above, the only person who was annoyed by these calls was YOU!!! The issue I see with your post is that you assumed that these wives were calling to check up on thier husbands and that the husbands didn't like it. It could be genuine that the kid was saying mummy i want to talk to daddy (i know my son keeps picking up the fone and saying hello daddy when daddy is not home). It could also be that the wife was checking in to see how hubby is doing, is he having fun etc etc or perhaps part of her did feel insecure and she called to check in on him, SO WHAT? Point is that's between the dude and his wife and your giving the lady a piece of ur mind was uncalled for. You could have given the hubby a hard time joking with him to say why is ur wife calling up or what ever but who gave u the right to speak to her about it? What if this guy didn't mind his wife calling him or what if it was a preplanned approach to get him out of ur house quickly coz he doesn't enjoy your company (not saying that he doesn't but hypothetically speaking) and didn't want to say NO to you either? It could be any reason that this happened. If you did have the desire to talk to the wife, you could have been more pleasant and didn't have to blatantly state your thoughts. You insulted your friend and his wife by asking her to tie a leash around his neck. I think it's safe to assume that you have lost a friend and frankly if I was one of the other guys in the room i'd also think twice about coming to your place after such behavior! You should know who you can and cannot invite to such get togethers and not assume that everyone has a leash around their necks unless they specifically state so! I'm sure based on interaction with your friends you'd know who is open to such get togethers and who is not and instead of making it a bad night for all, pick and choose the right friends and u'll have success!!!!
Finally, to all those posters writing that they "LET" their wives go out... I mean COME ON REALLY? You "LET" them do it? wow, they must feel so obliged that you give them PERMISSION by LETTING them go out !!!! To use such language shows where you place her in LIFE and I think that's just wrong!!!!!
Happy Partying
That post probably seared the screen when it left your keyboard :-))
Are you not falling in the same trap of making assumptions when you stress on a single word such as LET. Not everybody has the eloquence or gift of writing to express what they are actually feeling when they write...You are assuming the post is from a male chauvinist....may not be true.
I found only one post which says LET anyway.
Newton Ji,
My bad about referring to multiple posts regarding the 'LET'. You are right that there was only one post. However, on the assumptions piece,I beg to differ. I didn't fall for any assumptions but went with my understanding of the english language; as defined by dictionary.com
let 1 (lt)
v. let, let·ting, lets
v.tr.
1. To give permission or opportunity to; allow: I let them borrow the car. The inheritance let us finally buy a house. See Usage Note at leave1.
2. To cause to; make: Let the news be known.
3.
a. Used as an auxiliary in the imperative to express a command, request, or proposal: Let's finish the job! Let x equal y.
b. Used as an auxiliary in the imperative to express a warning or threat: Just let her try!
4. To permit to enter, proceed, or depart: let the dog in.
5. To release from or as if from confinement: let the air out of the balloon; let out a yelp.
6. To rent or lease: let rooms.
7. To award, especially after bids have been submitted: let the construction job to a new firm.
We can drop it though.. I just wanted to clarify my side but i guess as you stated... sometimes the language is to blame and not the intent!
