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Originally posted by febpreet
No wonder I have a hard time mixing up with one set of my cousins who were born here.
Not necessarily Born Here … just that they happen to arrive here first.
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Mumbai Maazi Ladki ...
Quote:
Originally posted by Transitions
We also noticed that when another white couple entered, he ran to the door and hovered around them till they were comfortable!
>>Well, well. Welcome to reality. Call it apartheid. Its not only that guy, lot of desis are like that. Ready to fall at the feet of whites, whether they are in India or in US or Canada.
Albeit it was a small incident, the waiter left us feeling small for being an Indian in a desi restaurant. Why is it that Indians fail to show respect to each other? Does that mean we still have a colonial hangover and cannot treat everyone equally?
>>Yes, we do have the colonial hangover. Its not going to go over anytime soon. Remember the IT sector in India is driven by whites (read outsourcing). When the chief of a Indian IT firm does not the want national anthem to be sung thinking that it may offend whites, what else u want?
In the UK, I have visited some desi areas where people throw garbage on the streets with abandon, they keep the sidewalks outside their homes/ stores extremely dirty, blare loud music with little concern for others … I can go on.
Whatever happened to our values of cleanliness; concern for others etc?
>>How can they abandon their trait? They have to maintain the Indian standard.
I happen to work for a company that was recently bought by a Indian Company. The project managers visiting from India make it very obvious that they want to be left with white employee of the Company. I get placed in an awkward situtation all the time when my employer will introduce me to them and these people do not want to carry on conversation. Earlier I would walk to them and introduce myself, make some little talk but now I have stopped doing it.
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Posted on: 15-08-07 23:10:42
Quote:
Originally posted by Charlie
I happen to work for a company that was recently bought by a Indian Company. The project managers visiting from India make it very obvious that they want to be left with white employee of the Company. I get placed in an awkward situtation all the time when my employer will introduce me to them and these people do not want to carry on conversation. Earlier I would walk to them and introduce myself, make some little talk but now I have stopped doing it.
Charlie,
I think we discussed this before on the forum that Indians suffer from massive inferiority complex esp. those who have been fully in India. No doubt they feel that White people do a better job than what we do. It is also true to an extent.
I used to feel the same way in Malaysia and Saudi when Desi's used to clean our toilets while we were working in office cabins with computers and were almost equal to our co workers (gulfi/malay/chinese malay). I used to feel ashamed on seeing them do that work in front of our co workers and feel even more ackward when they used to converse with me in Tamil. The main reason for ackwardness was that I was afraid that my co workers would underestimate me and bring me equal to the Desi who cleans toilets or the one who brings me coffee or the one who cleans the office garbage. Looks like the PM of your company (indians) felt the same way.
Just my thoughts.
TK A
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I am a Gents and not a Ladies.
really appreciate all your thoughts and replies. some reflections on what you have written
>>Well, well. Welcome to reality. Call it apartheid. Its not only that guy, lot of desis are like that. Ready to fall at the feet of whites, whether they are in India or in US or Canada>>>
I would not call it- apartheid. It’s too strong a word to be used loosely. I have definitely noticed that many of us (not generalising) take our kind for granted. However the point here is to understand “why we feel subservient to others” not just throw up our hands in the air and let it be.
>>Yes, we do have the colonial hangover. It’s not going to go over anytime soon. Remember the IT sector in India is driven by whites (read outsourcing). When the chief of a Indian IT firm does not the want national anthem to be sung thinking that it may offend whites, what else u want?>>
I do not want anything personally my friend and I am not sure what you mean by- <IT sector is driven by whites>. Outsourcing is an economic trend here to stay (suggest reading the book ‘world is flat’). Just because they outsource and give business to other suppliers does not mean they own it. The turn of events in the outsourcing world has really put pressure on the way companies operate and suppliers (whether from India or other countries) have got a lot to gain from it.
Reg the national anthem issue – it was huge big faux pas by the person in discussion. He has learned from that experience too I guess and hope.
Again whatever the trends in business, no one has a right to discriminate against another and get away with it.
Regarding discrimination at workplace:
Its important that we learn to differentiate what behaviour is OK and what is NOT at the workplace.
<I used to feel the same way in Malaysia and Saudi when Desi's used to clean our toilets while we were working in office cabins with computers and were almost equal to our co workers (gulfi/malay/chinese malay). I used to feel ashamed on seeing them do that work in front of our co workers and feel even more ackward when they used to converse with me in Tamil.>
Why would you feel ashamed of someone who is doing a honest day’s work?
Seems like dignity of labour is not something you believe in.
Many of the office staff maintenance guys are more helpful than many of the stiff ego centric white collar workers. Regarding their speaking with you in Tamil. I can understand it may have been awkward especially if the others around didn’t understand it. The way around it would have been to tell them politely why they should talk to you in English/or the official communication language and if they didn’t know it , translate the conversation to others around you.
< The main reason for ackwardness was that I was afraid that my co workers would underestimate me and bring me equal to the Desi who cleans toilets or the one who brings me coffee or the one who cleans the office garbage. Looks like the PM of your company (indians) felt the same way >
Peer acceptance is a big motivator at work. However wouldn’t they respect you more if we behaved in a dignified manner; stood up for others; respected others; were proud of ourselves and basically really good job at what you do?
why feel inferior to others?
I hope my objective in the forum is not misunderstood. I shared my experience here with a hope that readers become aware and probably reach out to others and basically treat everyone equally. I really do not want to start a desi bashing here 
We are not without faults ourselves.
dignity and respect is the key. In ourselves and for others.
Quote:
Originally posted by Transitions
I hope my objective in the forum is not misunderstood. I shared my experience here with a hope that readers become aware and probably reach out to others and basically treat everyone equally. I really do not want to start a desi bashing here
Very true. "We take our own for granted" is not only a complaint in this thread, its also the issue.
And we've had this discussion for ages now, mostly going in circles. What we haven't discussed is how people react in a constructive manner when they encouter these situations. If a waiter behaves in a certain way, its very easy to ignore it or walk away. And nothing will change.
As a community, when we start talking to the waiter about his rationale for doing so and asking him how he'd feel if the situtation were reversed is when we will start seeing true change. You have to make the waiter realize that its wrong. Sometimes you'll succeed, sometimes you won't. But your success rate will be much better than simply walking away or complaining to others about it. Guaranteed.
Can we have some ideas on how we can bring about some change? What do you do when faced with something like this?
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Are you there?
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Very true. "We take our own for granted" is not only a complaint in this thread, its also the issue.
And we've had this discussion for ages now, mostly going in circles. What we haven't discussed is how people react in a constructive manner when they encouter these situations. If a waiter behaves in a certain way, its very easy to ignore it or walk away. And nothing will change.
As a community, when we start talking to the waiter about his rationale for doing so and asking him how he'd feel if the situtation were reversed is when we will start seeing true change. You have to make the waiter realize that its wrong. Sometimes you'll succeed, sometimes you won't. But your success rate will be much better than simply walking away or complaining to others about it. Guaranteed.
Can we have some ideas on how we can bring about some change? What do you do when faced with something like this?
You are right there bluelobster. We did challenge the waiter's behaviour by drawing his attention to the situation politely. We were not too explicit this time which probably left the waiter feeling defensive.
Regarding what we can do- maybe we can start by :
1. Being proud of who we are : by that I mean- really understanding the the basic fundamentals and driving principles behind our culture and not just following it blindly as a tradition. This would make us -true followers and also give us the confidence of explaining it to others with pride.
2. Respecting self is the first step towards respecting others : reflect to understand why inferiority complex develops and address those issues
3. Not just get into bashing western culture or following it blindly: The western culture has many positives that we can / need to learn. For eg: learning to respect every individual's space and choices; keeping time ; civic sense ; etc.
4. Reach out to own kind and even others: Many stay in their own worlds and cultures (inspite of moving countries!) and are averse to making friends outside their groups. Hence the same attitudes and perceptions gained before continue leading to conflicting situations with others who do not understand these attitudes.
5. Another skill very much needed by a global citizen today: understanding and adapting to changes without any threat to self's identity. Its a delicate balance of cultural, national, and global identifications.
6. Challenge behaviours which seem racist/ prejudiced politely by sharing with the Perpetuator the impact of that behaviour on others.
Maybe understanding basic etiquette and social behaviour will go a long way in making social situations comfortable for all. Basically treat everyone as equals especially in a professional environment.
