Location: Ottawa (Now in Bangalore)
Posted on: 05-09-04 00:26:46
Quote:
Orginally posted by the-entrepreneur
Yeah I believe in it but then I am also human- I can't help but think ill of such people.
BKB..again from our fav character essayed by Sidney Poitier
"There are some things that are not unfair in life, and you must just accept them as they are"...
BTW is this the same reason you have chosen not to respond to my request for a correspondance ?... Do let me know
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Quote:
Orginally posted by dp_jain
This is such a disgusting attitude that makes sick to me. But, I do belive in GEETA. DO YOUR KARMAS AND DO NOT EXPECT IN RETURN. Let us keep on going whatever we can do within our circumstances to help others and to make this country a better place to live.
Well said jain saheb. I too believe in the same. I have had similar experiences as well. Infact, I have also tried to send some new comers a PM to check if everything is OK, is he/she having any difficulty etc. Still no reply. But then I feel that coz of few irresponsible persons, the whole community shouldn't suffer. As you mentioned, just believe in KARMA. May be we all are here for some kind of good cause. Some may appreciate, some may not, but why should we care abt the later.
All fellow members, pl keep up the good work !!!!!!, w/out any expectation.
chow !!!!!
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Let's help each other to grow & prosper in Canada
my experience...who cares....do waht you have to do. appreciation is okay but helping is better for you. Ultimately....you will get appreciated. In reality there is a word for thank-you in hindi....but how often do you hear it. And what is the word for please....when did u last hear it? Think abt it....so get on and get over it. Do what you have to do. Help those who need it.
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zen
Dear all,
Let me try to explain my experiences.
1.As an introvert and shy person I used to seek help from others very rarely. So I used to ask others to help me when there is no other alternative to a possible unbearable suffering. Once I got the help and satisfied, the old character resurfaces and avoids the people, including those who helped me. Such repetitions branded me bad mannered.
2. I was born and brought up in rural feudalistic India where it is the working class offer their help voluntarily. This develops arrogance. These children grow with the arrogance until they themselves become working class in cities. Some still continue while some newly develop the ARISTOCRACY.
3. I have been working in Africa for the last ten years where greeting others before one interacts is very important. Many a time I felt ashamed when my African colleagues greeted me before answering, my queries with out greetings/ wishes.
I know a very good friend of mine was refused to get help from a watchman at an office when he got problem with his car .He was bluntly told and reminded his behavior of not responding to his greetings during his earlier visits.
I got astonished and still remember the surprise looks of one of the resident in our apartments building whom I met him on the stairs when I last visited India.
This type of behavior is akin to rural India. 80%, I believe, are 1st or 2nd generation rural Indians. Rural Indians have no words like THANK YOU where helping one another (within the castes) are expected. Some don’t expect you“ thank” them while others don’t accept them. The rule is to say “RAMARPANAM / KRISHNARPANAM”.
My grand mother told me when I was a kind that we should say inside ourselves “RAMARPANAM” while donating any thing to a beggar /helping with any thing to others. I practiced this for a while before forgetting.
4. It is the character of some inherited from parents / from their last birth which does not appreciate the help they got from the fellow beings.
Our expectation of gratitude adds fury further to their bad manners.
You may agree, many people like me stopped spitting in the public places, and use the dustbins etc only after traveling out side India or acquiring the good characters from others who traveled out side.
well said raju, thats exactly most parts of india are and then we wonder just like the watchman you described in nigeria why some goras stay away from us or even make nasty remarks. In fact there are many in my office who comment specially to a india community 'that they don't have manners" and I being an Indian have to keep dumb.
As said whilst in Rome live like the Romans and so is in Canada but that does not imply that we have to forget our roots and our culture.
Hello,
Reading at the posts, I find may desis have helped other desis. It is good thing to do seva. But do seva out of love. dont keep any expectations. any favour done will be reward by some other means. so dont worry about the people saying thank you. When you some say Thank you, you have already received the favaour back in words. What do we want mere words or some help at some stage.
Love
