best not to marry from abroad
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Morning_rain,
In every part of this world, you'll find stupidity. There's no one country that will stand out that does not possess stupidity in this world. Marriage of convenience is just one of the ways of stupidity for people, from various countries, do to gain entry into Canada. These people don't care about the person they are hurting, nor do they know the sacred meaning of marriage, trust, or possess any human feelings.
I don't really know any more what is means any more to be Indian these days. Most of the Indian population in Canada are not to my liking, and the people in India are beginning to change their values as well. I was born and raised in India, and I learned most of my values from my family, relatives, and scriptures. My parents worked hard in life to raise me and my brother. They offered me home, shelter, food, education, etc. Everything that I received is because of them. At my present age, me and my brother have provided security for my family to take care of them in their old age and offer them financial support anything else that they want. We all live under the same roof, and I have never felt as if anyone in my home is a burden to me. I go to the temple every weekend, and offer my volunteering services to society, and help those who are in need. I can go on and on about values. I have no desires in the western independant life, nor do I have any desires in drinking, clubbing,offensive language, or any other degrading activities. Young girls here dress like prostitutes, and feel no shame.
In India, I was brought up by my family and relatives, and these days, kids are not brought up, but grow up on their own, and when they grow up, they turn out to be western animals. What the hell? Some of them watch commercialized, western-like Bollywood movies, and think they know what it's like to be Indian. To have 1 or 2 attributes, and customize your Indian lifestyle to your personal needs, and still consider yourself Indian, you be the judge.
When I came to Canada, I had Canadian friends mainly, and became western-like too, and at some point, felt ashamed of being a Hindu, and Indian. It was all because of my family's strict behavior, I was lucky to still look in the mirror to see and realize who I was and where I came from. I have grown up to understand Sanatana Dharma, and understand our real roots, and identity. The western world makes Hinduism like it is garbage, spreading misunderstanding about the Aryan Invasion Theory, caste system, etc. If you do the research, you will find the truth.
Anyways, I don't know you, and so, don't take offense to what I said initially, especially if you really feel that you have values. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Quote:
Originally posted by morning_rain
Quote:
Originally posted by kublakhan26
I am happy for you. You might be one of the luckiest people. I wish I could find a girl from India, who has moral values, and can assure me a lifetime of happiness. Indian girls in Canada are a different entity of their own, for the most part.
Yet if you look at this thread itself, isnt it women from india with the so called "moral values" and the automatic assurance of "a lifetime of happiness" the ones who also marry for convenience?
As a "indian girl from Canada" i take offense to your comment. What is the difference pray tell in morality between Indian and Canadian born women?
I don't know how fraudulent people live a normal life. they have no bloody shame. How sad, and inhuman, this story is:
http://nriinternet.com/Marriages/A_Z/P/Chirag_Patel/index.htm
Quote:
Originally posted by kublakhan26
http://nriinternet.com/Marriages/A_Z/P/Chirag_Patel/index.htm
While what happened to the alleged victim in this case is unfortunate, its all his own doing. IMO, although this is not going to happen, he should be penalized for the costs of the investigation and deportation proceedings.
I find it tough to understand how people get married 10 days after meeting each other, get defrauded and then presume that its the responsibility of Canadian law enforcement to sort out their mess.
The only outcome of this is that genuine marriage cases will come under a microscope; and for that we can thank a few dimwits that need their mommies, daddies and assorted aunties and neighbours to find a spouse for them!
First of all buddy, when someone commits fraud, usually the intentions are not known until the fraud is committed. Why shouldn't the government take enforcement actions on such cases, from their own pocket? It is a well, organized crime...The immigration folks screen people if they suspect anything. Why not screen people, after coming here, knowing that there are thousands of victims?
Secondly, there have been many stories of people who also had relationships for 1-3 years, and the fraud still happened to them. There are thousands of victims out there, and they are not stupid people. These people gave their trust and heart to their supposed soulmate, only to be deceived in the worst possible way.
Lastly, you don't understand the value and meaning of the Indian culture, that is why you are making such statements. Arranged marriages are not such a bad thing, as it has had a small divorce rate, and is more likely to succeed, through compromise between couple and relatives. Now, obviously, times have changed, and because society is getting worse and worse, arranged marriage is not the appropriate option nowadays.
You might think that these victims had arranged marriage, but they didn't. It's all mixed.
Quote:
Originally posted by crenshaw
Quote:
Originally posted by kublakhan26
http://nriinternet.com/Marriages/A_Z/P/Chirag_Patel/index.htm
While what happened to the alleged victim in this case is unfortunate, its all his own doing. IMO, although this is not going to happen, he should be penalized for the costs of the investigation and deportation proceedings.
I find it tough to understand how people get married 10 days after meeting each other, get defrauded and then presume that its the responsibility of Canadian law enforcement to sort out their mess.
The only outcome of this is that genuine marriage cases will come under a microscope; and for that we can thank a few dimwits that need their mommies, daddies and assorted aunties and neighbours to find a spouse for them!
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 21-09-07 06:27:33
Quote:
Originally posted by kublakhan26
Secondly, there have been many stories of people who also had relationships for 1-3 years, and the fraud still happened to them. There are thousands of victims out there, and they are not stupid people. These people gave their trust and heart to their supposed soulmate, only to be deceived in the worst possible way.
Lastly, you don't understand the value and meaning of the Indian culture, that is why you are making such statements. Arranged marriages are not such a bad thing, as it has had a small divorce rate, and is more likely to succeed, through compromise between couple and relatives. Now, obviously, times have changed, and because society is getting worse and worse, arranged marriage is not the appropriate option nowadays.
You might think that these victims had arranged marriage, but they didn't. It's all mixed.
My inclination is to agree with Crenshaw that it is illogical for an individual who has known their spouse for 10 days (whether before the wedding or after..it doesnt matter) and then for them to be surprised and heartbroken. If it was not acceptable or possible for this guy to spend tons of time with this woman his family should have perhaps interacted with her and her family for a period (as they all lived in India)..to get to know the family.
Secondly - by making statements like "you dont understand the value and meaning of the Indian culture..." are you attempting to provoke? From reading your posts here, I get the sense that you are homesick and feel a sentimental attachment to India. Thats acceptable and normal. It also sounds like you are in a stage of life where you are establishing just where you belong.. some people who move away from home (whether country or even another city in Canada) find themself in a transitional period where they feel they dont
belong in either place.
Arranged marriages are not just localized in India. Many african countries, south east asian countries also practice arranged marriages. Yes there may be less divorces overall, however you need to examine why. Do people stay together for the sake of the families? Is that love or obligation? Arranging of marriage is not the main reason marriages work out. Marriages work out because of both partner's commitment and time and attention given to the marriage. It means equality and understanding your partner. It means wanting the marriage to be a success and then living each day that way.
Thats my opinion anyways..
Society is not becoming worse and worse as you put it.. but I do see women becoming more independant - young people marrying later - putting their careers first, not having children ..etc etc. (whether India or here)
Whether arranged or not, any marriage requires a foundation of trust...and there are people out there who do not have their spouse's best interests at heart.
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~ Morning rain
There's one difference I've noticed in today and our time (I mean 8 yrs when I got married), now a days, the girls and boys want to know each other well before they commit to marriage. Any marriage can sour be it arrange or love, I've seen marriages btw cousins or in distant relations where families knew each other from years going bad and in contrast marriages with a strange family (newspaper groom/bride) going excellent.
There's no formula for a successful marriage or one to get a good partner...but I do believe there are some karmic connections. The way we have no hand or power in death and birth the same in a little way goes for marriages too. Why then in billions of people around the globe we meet only the chosen thousands? And out of that, many are good and many bad, do we have a control in that?
Btw I think for fraudulent marriages there should be some action by govt. it is very hard for the victims and their families to endure a pain like this. Can put anyone trusts off from the marriage institution.
Jona
Quote:
Originally posted by crenshaw
........
I find it tough to understand how people get married 10 days after meeting each other, get defrauded and then presume that its the responsibility of Canadian law enforcement to sort out their mess
.....
Imagine the consequences if the victim takes the law into his/her own hand to do justice?
Victims of defraud are not limited to phony marriages that occur in 10 days; one could become a fraud victim despite taking all known precautions. The guy in this case may get a good spouse, but just for eg. think about the victims who at near retirement age lost all life savings say in Enron, Bre-x kinda deals - there would 000's gunning on the street if there's no law of the land.
