This is a conversation that took place between me and my white female colleague. This white female colleague is married to a person of Indian decent from far east and has a good understanding of how Indian society works.
She asked me how I met my husband especially if it was an arranged marriage. i told her that my husband's family and my family know each other very well. It is not a marriage between cousins. Though there are lot of my distant relatives that are married to his distant relatives. When she heard that she said "Like us you donot need children to keep your marriage going". I thought that was very interesting. This lady has children in the age range of 2 to 22.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 06-02-06 12:30:43
Quote:
Orginally posted by lana2005
Lana, being childfree for 15 years is amazing and demands extreme courage and determination...guess it becomes a way of life after a few years.
I am new to this chat board. So just curious how you came to the number 15 i.e. I am childfree for 15 yrs. By the way the number is wrong. Trying to find out if you anubody can see my profile.
Lana.. I am also lucky that my relatives dont pressure us..and are all generally far away. My parents would like us to, but they are not pressuring us.
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~ Morning rain
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 06-02-06 12:34:00
Quote:
Orginally posted by lana2005
This is a conversation that took place between me and my white female colleague. This white female colleague is married to a person of Indian decent from far east and has a good understanding of how Indian society works.
She asked me how I met my husband especially if it was an arranged marriage. i told her that my husband's family and my family know each other very well. It is not a marriage between cousins. Though there are lot of my distant relatives that are married to his distant relatives. When she heard that she said "Like us you donot need children to keep your marriage going". I thought that was very interesting. This lady has children in the age range of 2 to 22.
There may be an impression of arranged or "introduced marriages" that because romantic love isnt the basis for the partnership, then procreation is the main reason for the union. If a couple who is arranged does not have children..then what would be the purpose for them to marry? Common sense of course would say that if you need children to keep your marriage going..then its not a stable marriage and bringing children into an unhealthy or weak marriage wont strengthen it..but will cause stress PLUS is very unfair to the children.
What do you think?
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~ Morning rain
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 06-02-06 12:56:21
Quote:
Orginally posted by Rohit69
Hey Rain
Go for it...having a 3rd gen CD is good to keep this website going...typically any couplt wud like to have at least one kid...unless it is not feasible medically...of course adoption is divine...I have lots of respect for people who adopt children.
Lana, being childfree for 15 years is amazing and demands extreme courage and determination...guess it becomes a way of life after a few years.
Rohit,
Being childfree also gives you options to live your life in other ways..travel..pursue other hobbies...give more time to career... get involved in causes...
if one wishes.
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~ Morning rain
Quote:
Orginally posted by morning_rain
Quote:
Orginally posted by lana2005
There may be an impression of arranged or "introduced marriages" that because romantic love isnt the basis for the partnership, then procreation is the main reason for the union. If a couple who is arranged does not have children..then what would be the purpose for them to marry? Common sense of course would say that if you need children to keep your marriage going..then its not a stable marriage and bringing children into an unhealthy or weak marriage wont strengthen it..but will cause stress PLUS is very unfair to the children.
What do you think?
In principle, I agree with you that bringing children in not so stable marriage is not a good idea.
In practice, it happens all the time. If you notice famous celebrities announce their marriages and soon they announce the wife is pregnant. However, the reality is they get married because wife is pregnant. Not the other way around e.g. Donanld trump, Demi Moore. In wetern world, that is the right thing to do when the women is pregnant. Nobody is concerned if they are in love.
Location: British Columbia
Posted on: 06-02-06 13:49:20
Quote:
Orginally posted by lana2005
In principle, I agree with you that bringing children in not so stable marriage is not a good idea.
In practice, it happens all the time. If you notice famous celebrities announce their marriages and soon they announce the wife is pregnant. However, the reality is they get married because wife is pregnant. Not the other way around e.g. Donanld trump, Demi Moore. In wetern world, that is the right thing to do when the women is pregnant. Nobody is concerned if they are in love.
Celebrity world seems different in this case. It is fashionable these days to have babies (ie/ britney spears on baby #2).. as it is also 'fashionable' to have dogs (I read something on how they are like accessories)..
You mean that no one is concerned if they are in love or not..but if they are pregnant they get married? Hmmm.. thats probably not good for the kid.. 'staying together for the sake of the child' etc.
Parents model marriage for kids right? so if a kid grows up seeing a pseudo marriage.. they will assume thats how marriages are.
I guess thats unhealthy..
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~ Morning rain
I guess women are generally skeptical and probably a bit scared about having babies, marriage break ups, deterioration in relationships, personal hapiness etc....but can you stop the "Human Life Cycle" process? You can just slow it down a bit I guess...can't end it altogether....so please do not campaign against the "Law of Nature"...you will never win.
Also I think it would be wrong to compare the definition of marriage between the two different societies..."Western" and "Indian".
Lana sorry for the number mix up...guess I was reading too many messages after a 2 week gap from the CD website..no I never probed into the profile.
